Only one thing is required: an intentional decision to stop feeling resentment and anger towards someone.  

The only time you need to do it is when you need to stop feeling resentful and anger.  Some people don’t forgive because they want to feel anger and resentment.  They think that by holding on to these feelings that the other person somehow experiences these feelings.  Actually all they experience is the interpretation of your behavior.  Our anger can only hurt us, not them.  

These feelings of anger and resentment start with a thought.  That thought produces a feeling.  We can change our thoughts and produce new feelings no matter the situation.  

The other person doesn’t have to do anything to make you feel better.  They don’t even have to apologize.  And they don’t really need to hear that you’ve forgiven them.  This is for you, not them.  Forgiveness is how you feel, not how you behave.  You can still put boundaries up and forgive.  

If it’s hard for you to forgive someone.  Try this practice on yourself first.  When we forgive ourselves we can let go of the guilt and self loathing.  ❤️

I grew up with a Dad that was an “unbeliever.”  He was extremely abusive in all the ways imaginable to all 3 of us kids and my Mom.  Alcoholic drug addict.  My mom left him when I was 10.  He slept with a gun under the bed and kept telling her that her was going to kill the whole family in our sleep.  She left him while he was at work with us kids and anything she could fit in the car and we fled to Texas from Washington where she divorced him.  I didn’t see or talk to him for 10 years.  

How could I forgive him?  I changed my thoughts.  I believe his life on this earth was tortured so he tortured others.  He didn’t know love, just violence.  In 96, he said to my face he was sorry.  It didn’t matter at that point.  I had already forgiven him.  I felt sorry for him.  He missed out.  I could see his painful existence.  Now I believe he’s an angel in heaven watching over me.  He wasn’t meant for this planet.  He’s happy as an angel.  He died on Christmas Day 2009. My angel 😇